People are on the news talking about an FDA authorization for Ivermectin use in treating COVID. It’s not true. They’re lying to you, perhaps coincidentally right after a minor pharma company just released their new formulation of Ivermectin. It’s pine scented now or something. And their stock price just went through the roof.

Follow the money, people! Do you think nobody in Congress just made a killing? Scurrilous rumor implicates Senator Ron Johnson, but I happen to believe he’s just an ignorant patsy who’s being used by someone close to him. Which isn’t any better for the country, but it’s less immoral.

Want to know more? Keep reading. Because Ivermectin really is a wonder drug, and it might possibly be used to treat viruses – especially in the new pine scent variety.

First, about Soluvec, the new formulation: It’s not really pine scented. According to their press release, it’s a way to put one-seventh the quantity of Ivermectin into a human body and get full impact. This could have wonderful consequences for people who are allergic, have liver or kidney damage (and who among us doesn’t?), and people who owned WVMD stock a couple of weeks ago, before all the fuss started.

The bit about reducing the quantity could be revolutionary, because some of the side effects are truly horrific, and I’m not just talking death. People’s skin can melt off; they can go blind. Worse, they can go seriously stupid and paranoid. No, I’m not making a MAGA joke, dammit, and don’t you either: That’s not how it works. These are legitimate side effects, and if you crack wise about them, people just get offended and after that they won’t listen.

Now, back to Ivermectin: Amazing medicine; justly ranked as one of the world’s top essential pharmaceuticals, right up there with aspirin, quinine, and insulin. It interrupts cell division in a way that kills most worm parasites. Instant cure for giardia, among other things, and should be prescribed far more often than it is — especially in prisons, if you’re in favor of prisoners being treated humanely.

Curiously, it may possibly provide a rosacea treatment. That’s being studied.

It’s also a potent antiviral for some viruses, acting like a chemo drug to prevent live viral release. For COVID, the dose required is enough to cause massive liver, eye, and potentially brain damage, so it’s like taking cancer meds in order to skip your next haircut. But for some other viruses long deemed incurable, it could prove a wonder drug.

With COVID, its anti-inflammatory side effects might have some positive impact. For some patients, there’s underlying conditions that might make it a reasonable course of action. As I understand it, that’s one of the supporting factors in the 2020 decision to permit some occasional off-use prescription (which is not new and no longer newsworthy). Several studies have been conducted; none have shown any indication that it would help apart from the one prison doctor, and his could be chalked up to mass giardia and scabies cures improving the health of prisoners wholesale.

There are also anti-cancer uses being explored. I wouldn’t suggest self-treatment, but if you’re between chemo rounds and get stuck for six months in darkest Africa, a local doctor might opt to use it for this.

All of this information is what I’m quite sure about. I’ve talked to GPs, researchers, one of the guys in the Texas prison study, and on and on and on. Probably 200 conversations and tens of hours of reading — and I speed-read, which means that’s a LOT of paper. So I’ve done my homework. But I’m not finished digging, because there’s always more to learn.

But what you should never do with Ivermectin includes:

• Using the horse pill variety. The compounding labs use less quality control, mainly because if you overdose a horse, it can survive a lot better than a human. They’re extremely powerful but erratically compounded, and shaving off the tiny sliver that could kill you might result in you getting half the medicine in the damn pill, or more likely a bunch of unmedicated milk sugar.
• Treating yourself without a doctor’s input. First off, if you take it without knowing if you’re allergic, you could end up dying. If you don’t have a perfect liver, you could end up dying. If you accidentally took too much Tylenol once six years ago, you could end up dying. If you drink the wrong herbal tea or use the wrong spice in your potato salad, you could end up with all of the skin on your arms melting and falling off. And so on.
• Bullying your doctor into prescribing it. Yes, you’re in charge, but if you make enough of a nuisance of yourself, it would take a saint to avoid letting you kill yourself. Most doctors aren’t saints.
• Taking more than the recommended amount. For a very large man, that’s something like 20 milligrams per year. Let me repeat that: PER YEAR.
• Talking about it on Twitter, Facebook, or Truth Social as if you know something about it. You don’t. Even if Tucker Carlson told you himself, hand to God, all you know is that Tucker said something. If you start talking about “definitely does” and miracle cures, you could get sued or jailed when, not if, something bad happens as a result (or even near you, because God knows lawyers want your money). If your ex-brother-in-law trips on his Ivermectin bottle, you might end up owing him your house, car, and favorite horse.

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Special Note: If you have questions, ask. If you have comments that involve what Tucker said on YouTube or whatever, don’t post them. If you actually ARE Tucker Carlson… just don’t. But if you know anything about which Congressman, Senator, or near relative of Ron Johnson just made a killing in the stock market, I’d really like to know.

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