The writing’s going well for once, thank God. The writer’s block is gone; the words are flowing. Even better, my wife is staying at her sister’s house tonight; they’ll be having a private Hallowe’en party with her niece tomorrow, and maybe some social-distanced Trick-or-Treating.
Does Dawn dish soap really give you smooth skin? Will the truth really make you free? Do Camel cigarettes really help you breathe better because of that fiberglass filter? Does Axe body spray cause hot chicks to swarm you? Obviously not.
How about this: “A vote for a third party candidate is a vote for Donald Trump.”
The Presidential race is in its last days, with an actual civil debate for once, and COVID-19 is raging again across the country as the population begins to reject those precautions that have heretofore kept the disease at manageable levels.
But you already know all this; you couldn’t have missed it. So here’s some things you might not have known about — until now.
The entire point of calling this “The Not Fake News” is to address commonly held misconceptions wherever they exist — “commonly held” because there’s no benefit to disproving something nobody believes in anyway, and “misconceptions” because there’s already a huge chorus of media outlets all voicing the same truths, so who needs one more?
In the past, people were obliging enough to present memes that could easily be demonstrated as false. However, now that our social media corporations are taking those down almost as quickly as they go up, it’s difficult to capture one long enough to dissect it, much less to spread the actual truth behind the meme. The danger of this is that rumors are started by that first glimpse, but without permanence there’s no space for discussion or disproof. Even the original poster won’t be sure what it was they started off trying to say.
On this day in 1307, hundreds of Knights Templar were arrested at dawn by King Phillippe IV of France. They were later tortured, tried, and convicted of heresy. In other news, I don’t much care for Joe Biden’s candidacy, though I like the guy in person, and will probably vote third party.
A great deal has happened since our last Update, but not so much of great pith and moment. Let’s take a look, shall we?
It’s election time again, and the Get Out The Vote drives have begun. Rock The Vote is observing isolation protocols, presumably having raves on Zoom. Michelle Obama has brought the cast of The West Wing together for a reunion tour — virtually, but still. And the memes blaming non-voters for our terrible times have gone (heh!) viral, popping up on every page but mine.
See, I don’t think we really need to get out the vote, folks. I think if we do, it’s actually a bad thing. Let me tell you why.
Be warned: I’m about to start blaspheming here, though not against any widely respected or even recognized faith.
My target is not a god per se, but rather certain beliefs fervently held by adherents of political parties — who, if they know me well enough by now, have already stopped reading. Which is fair enough; if I fail to lend credence while they impugn my faith, why should they pay attention to someone kicking at the underpinnings of theirs?
There is a dusty typewriter on the vacant desk that is our Sports Department. In fond memory of our dear departed Sports Editor, we’ve left it unchanged — the ashtray still overflows, the empty bottles fill the bottom drawer, and even the same sheet of paper sits on the platen — still pristine after all these years.
Some days, sheets of manuscript mysteriously appear in the Out Box. When they’re cogent, we do some minimal editing and send them out under Duke’s byline. After all, it could be him, filing on the great Mojo Wire from Beyond…