Here’s your update on Things You Missed While Watching The Not News Show, compiled faithfully by all of us here the Not Fake News.

– Venice is sinking. No, this isn’t news; yes, it’s been sinking for centuries; yes, that’s part of the plot of “The Italian Job”; yes, that’s what you get for living in a swamp on the coast. On the other hand, it _is_ sinking rather faster than it has been.

– Hong Kong protests are getting more desperate. There’s a siege on in one of the universities; everyone’s convinced they’ll be sent to labor camps or cut up for organ harvesting by the government. Truth be told, they’re probably not wrong. On the other hand, what can anyone outside of China do about it?!

– Seriously. I’d like to know. I’d help if I could.

– Another murder-suicide teen at a school, plus a couple more drug/gang killings. Meanwhile, the drug gang explosives plague continues in gun-free Sweden, as neighborhoods keep blowing up. Swedish authorities tell us it’s still nothing to worry about.

– Mayor Bloomberg still hasn’t decided whether to run for president. This isn’t news; it’s just a bit of gossip.

– Further crackdowns on illegal pot in states with legalized pot. This is what happens when you give the government guns and an excuse to militarize the police.

– White House is taking much-needed action on health care reform. Nobody noticed; they’re too busy impeaching Trump.

– Epstein is still dead. They’ve offered plea deals to a couple of his former guards, but they haven’t changed their stories: he’s still dead. Also, they still haven’t committed suicide, making the suicide conspiracy theory seem slightly more unlikely every day that passes.

– Bolivia’s president is gone, but they’re still rioting. Like everyone else, apparently.

– Oh, crap. Chinese police breached that besieged university.