The Not Fake News Update, 04 Jan 20

It’s the Not Fake News Update, 04 January 2020:
More Things You May Have Missed.
I’m your Not Fake News reporter, and this…. is 2020.  (I’ve been waiting all year to say that.)

– In retaliation for multiple attacks on Americans, a U.S. drone strike killed an Iranian general and (arguably) terrorist. In reply, Iran shouts “Death To America” again — but this time they might mean it.

– Australian bushfire season has passed the acreage burned last year by 27%, and there’s still months yet to go. On the plus side, the land already burned over is unlikely to burn again before next year — when it probably will. This story is being hugely exaggerated, but it does deserve international attention and assistance — as it did last year at this time.  25 people dead and counting.

– Impeachment blah blah blah.

– Democrats are dropping out of the Presidential primary race like… well, like Democrats. (They do tend to devour their own.) We’re down to fourteen major candidates, of whom several have reduced or eliminated staff and activities.

– There’s still unrest around the world over government corruption, freedom, and so on. Meanwhile, France is burning down the country over too low raises for public assistance.

– Suicide truck bombing in Mogadishu. Not normal right now; watch this. Meanwhile, a roadside bomb killed schoolkids in the Maghreb, 22 people were hacked to death with machetes in the Congo, and the Libyan Army has attacked its own military academy killing 28 cadets. On the plus side, in Sudan an entire lynch mob that had killed a schoolteacher was sentenced to hang.

– Nine days before the elections, a Blackhawk carrying the Taiwanese Chief of the General Staff and two other high-ranking commanders mysteriously crashed. We still have no idea why.

– Bolivia appears to be moving toward diplomatic conflict with its neighbors, and most recently has begun expelling diplomats from Spain and Mexico (which aren’t nearby, but are influential in the area).

– Chicago has legalized pot, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, I’m (1) still in Chicago and (2) allergic, dammit.

– Epstein is still dead. And still in the news. Meanwhile in Spain, Generalissimo Ferdinand Franco is also still dead, but nobody cares.

I’d tell you about all the good things that are happening, but nobody seems to be reporting on them. If you think of something, let me know. It’s getting depressing in the Not Fake Newsroom; I’m afraid the announcer may break down and cry if we don’t cut to commercial.

Be well, my friends!

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