The Not Fake News Update: 15 September 2020

We here at The Not Fake News consider it a good sign that fewer people seem to be clicking on our posts these days. It fits with a trend that’s been observed: People are spending less time on social media. We hope it continues; there’s more to life.

On the theory that some of you will return, here’s a quick rundown of some of the events that have happened over the past couple of weeks, just so you don’t feel you’ve missed anything important. They’ll keep until you get back, and I promise: The world won’t end without you noticing.

– California and Oregon have largely stopped burning by now, at least for the moment. Local Democrats blame global heating (rather than global warming; don’t ask); Donald Trump states that science “doesn’t really know”; scientists disagree. TNFN believes we should restore Tulare Lake and do some logging.

– Incidentally: While one man was arrested for arson in Oregon after deliberately starting wildfires, most of the blazes were started by lightning or accidentally. There’s no conspiracy to burn the place down — outside of Portland proper, that is; and if they’d truly wanted to destroy a courthouse with fire, they’d probably have built a larger one. Fire, that is.

– Bahrain and the United Arab Emirates have granted Israel diplomatic recognition, sending ambassadors. The Sultanate of Oman has issued a statement of approval. Other Arab nations are, apparently, still uncertain where Israel is located, although one of the Libyan factions has been seen asking directions in Riyadh.

– China launched a four-stage solid fuel ballistic missile capable of either achieving orbit or instigating a devastating nuclear attack directly over the island of Taiwan. That it was intended as a provocation is certain; whether it was also a legitimate commercial exercise is slightly less so.

– The UAE has approved Sinopharm’s COVID-19 vaccine for use on front-line workers after it successfully completed its Stage 3 trials. This will be the first large-scale commercial deployment of an effective COVID vaccine. More are expected to come on line over the next three months, and production of the various vaccines is anticipated to pass the billion-dose mark early in 2021 if all continues to go well.

– Yet another hurricane is striking Louisiana even as this goes to press. It’s expected to be comparatively weak for a hurricane, but damage from past storms (particularly Laura) still has not been addressed, and a large number of people are already without power or even housing. Another tropical storm is heading in that direction, and could land over the weekend.

– Indications of possible extraterrestrial life in the atmosphere of Venus have been discovered. Scientists say it’s likely microscopic, possibly similar in form to algae. No other similarity with either The Donald’s conscience or Uncle Joe’s intellect has been reported.

– Massive protests continue in Belarus, as the population rejects the results of the recent election. Many public areas in Minsk have been shut down, and arrests are numbering in the hundreds. There is no indication that the Artist Formerly Known As President Lukashenko intends to resign.

– Peace talks between the Taliban and the government of Afghanistan are proceeding in Doha, Qatar. If successful, this may lead to the complete withdrawal of American troops from the country over time. Many local factions are continuing to oppose the negotiations; one group bombed a wedding to indicate their displeasure.

– Japan and the United Kingdom have signed a tentative free trade agreement, marking the first such following Brexit. No solution for the Irish problem has been arrived at, which surprises exactly zero students of Irish-UK history.

– The U.S. Congress has announced their failure to compromise on a COVID assistance package, and instead has chosen to focus on passage of a continuing funding resolution aimed at keeping the government open the rest of the year. It’s a low bar, and experts project even Congress can reach it on a good day.

– A meeting in Moscow between Indian and Chinese foreign ministers ended after a mere two hours. Following this, Chinese state media issued a statement that India should comply with the terms of the treaty of 1959 or, if they prefer war, they will be obliged. India has yet to respond.

– The La Línea highway tunnel in Colombia has opened. Measuring over five miles, it is the longest such tunnel in the Americas, and a tremendously successful feat of engineering.

– BREAKING NEWS: Ghislaine Maxwell has still neither killed herself nor been shot trying to escape. Prison authorities are reportedly mystified.

And that’s all the news worth talking about, plus a lot that wasn’t. If you think of something we missed, please mention it in the Comments. And, if you enjoy this sort of article and would like to see more like it in the future, please feel free to

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