The Not Fake News Update, 28 January 2021

What with all the bread and circuses we’re getting out of Washington, D.C. these days, it’s possible you’ve been missing out on a few of the meatier world events that have been happening. Pull up a chair and read on for a bit more protein in your Not Fake News diet.

– Google has removed Australian news sites from its search results in response to a proposed bill in the Australian parliament which would compel third-party online news aggregators to pay local outlets for plagiarizing their copy. In a war between Google and Australia, not gonna lie — my money’s on the Australians.

– President “Diamond Joe” Biden has signed approximately fifty Executive Orders in the week since his inauguration. About half reverse or weaken orders previously signed by President Trump. This includes ending the state of emergency that permitted fund transfers to pay for the border wall with Mexico, ending the ban on transgender military service, instituting a temporary ban on fracking and oil exploration leases in federal land, and so on.

– The price of stock shares in failing company GameStop has skyrocketed due to a short squeeze engineered by random people on Reddit. Several corporate short-selling funds on Wall Street have liquidated their positions, taking heavy losses. More than 450 of the company’s individual retail outlets are presently on the planned closing list for this coming year due to the COVID pandemic; however, the company has made some plans to move a large portion of their business online.

– Arizona has become the fifteenth U.S. state to legalize recreational marijuana use. The Federal government still maintains marijuana on its tightest level of control despite vast amounts of scientific evidence of its near harmlessness. Oh, and I’m allergic — gives me nosebleeds.

– Many people have been restricted by social media providers lately. Some have received temporary suspensions; others, more lengthy bans. One you may not have heard about was Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei following his death threat against Donald Trump. Meanwhile, just before leaving office, Trump was awarded the Order of Muhammad by Morocco for his role in pursuing peace in the Middle East.

– Nineteen undocumented migrants were shot dead in northern Mexico, the vehicles transporting them set on fire, apparently as part of a skirmish in the ongoing Mexican Drug War. This is not considered a particularly unusual event, though border violence had been decreasing until early this year. I just thought it was worth mentioning.

– Squadrons of Chinese fighter jets, accompanied by ocean-based support resources, have spent several days this past week probing Taiwan’s air defense and anti-missile networks. This unusually high level of provocation is likely a direct consequence of the recent American elections.

– Several thousand Russian citizens have been detained following widespread and continuing protests against the imprisonment of returning activist Alexei Navalny. Navalny had left the country for treatment for poisoning in what appeared to be a government assassination attempt, and voluntarily returned. Full marks for courage; zero for common sense.

– A recent announcement by the Biden Administration predicts that nearly one hundred thousand more Americans will die of COVID-19 over the course of the next month, increasing the national total by some 20-25% over all time. Meanwhile, vaccine distribution is proceeding, albeit slowly.

– THIS JUST IN: Donald Trump is still not president. Later today, he is expected to set a new personal record of one continuous week of no longer being president. Former acquaintance Jeffrey Epstein was unable to be reached for comment.

And that’s all the news that we could find that was worth repeating. If we missed something, please jot it down on the back of a hundred-dollar bill and mail it to us, or to save postage use PayPal or

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Lord knows our ramen supply sure is running low, and it’s been weeks since we’ve had any decent coffee.

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