Against all expectation, things are actually happening in Washington D.C. these days. And, not to put too fine a point on it, some of them are actually newsworthy.

…I know; right?

So, for the benefit of all of you who shut down in self-defense at the words “new” or “politics”: Here’s the short version, with as little spin put on it as conscience permits.

– The United States has opened its borders to non-essential traffic, presumably under the perfectly justifiable assumption that our own COVID numbers are worse than those in other countries, so we really have nothing to lose by doing this. Vaccinations and contact tracing will be required. (Which isn’t a patch on what some other countries are requiring, in case your first thought was “tyranny” or “government overreach”.)

– The home of Iraqi Prime Minister Mustafa al-Kadhimi was attacked by three drones carrying explosives, resulting in the deaths of six members of the security staff. Al-Kadhimi survived, and no groups are claiming responsibility… although everyone in the world appears to be thinking “Iran-backed militias” very loudly, since the recent elections demonstrated the population’s anger toward them and the ongoing protests all appear to be trending anti-Iran.

– In Ethiopia, a large coalition has formed between nine factions opposing the government of Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed Ali, the Nobel Peace Prize laureate who is overseeing a near-genocidal response to an equally genocidal revolt in the Tigray Province. Several countries, including the United States, are evacuating citizens and nonessential personnel.

– Massive nationwide protests have erupted in Sudan against the government formed in the wake of the successful coup by General Abdel-Fatteh Burhan. The military faction presently in control has promised to hand power back to the winners in an upcoming election; evidently, the opposition feel they have some cause to mistrust this pledge. Further protests are planned despite a fairly savage response by police.

– President Joe Biden has declared victory following the midnight passage of the long-delayed infrastructure bill and the continued delay of his severely reduced domestic package. It’s unclear over whom this victory took place, as several Republicans voted in favor and several Democrats (the “squad”) voted against; perhaps it’s supposed to be the American people who defeated Washington. In other news, fact-checkers have called Biden on his misstatements over the availability of nationwide charging stations for electric vehicles, the auto industry’s production numbers (presently under 2% of all vehicles), and how soon states would see the effects of the bill (funds will have to wait on as-yet unwritten regulations, at least six months).

– Speaking of things that didn’t happen: Fact-checkers have nixed a photograph of private jets which ostensibly were used to fly attendees to a climate convention; apparently, other private jets were used, and actual photos were unavailable. Pictures of ads on the sides of Canadian transit buses warning against the dangers of childhood strokes were falsely tied to COVID vaccinations; the foundation that purchased the ads is attempting to raise funds for research into long-extant common conditions, and to spread awareness in order to speed treatment. Additionally, counter to online posts, COVID vaccines do not cause cancer, AIDS, or, quite evidently, blinkered pig-ignorance among Facebook users.

– Something that most definitely did happen is that Virginia has decisively flipped back from Democrat to Republican, in an apparent backlash reaction to the Biden presidency. In New Jersey, however, the Democratic governor narrowly managed to get re-elected, which doesn’t often happen. (Contrary to common belief, very few New Jersey governors have ever been hit by the mob, much less arrested on corruption charges. You’re thinking of Chicago aldermen.)

– In Myanmar, the ruling military junta, the Tatmadaw, has reportedly been using artillery to break up protests. Over 160 structures in Thantling, Chin Province, were destroyed by shelling and the subsequent fires. Protests have been relatively constant since the recent military coup and subsequent trial of the deposed leader.

– The 5th Circuit Court has placed a temporary ban on enforcement of OSHA’s proposed regulation, which would require corporations exceeding 100 employees to require COVID vaccinations. Paradoxically, the opponents are not generally considered the champions of bodily autonomy, while the traditional proponents of medical privacy appear to favor absolute mandates for the general good.

– In related news, SCOTUS has heard arguments concerning the most recent Texas anti-abortion law. While their decision has not been published, the tone of questioning indicated that the justices were inclined to permit the lawsuit against Texas go forward and injunctions placed against its application.

– There’s complete media silence about the kidnap and attempted ransoming of seventeen American missionaries in Haiti. News reports just stopped two weeks ago. Wish I could tell you something.

– Law enforcement officials in Berlin revealed that last month’s death of a young yet prominent Russian ‘diplomat’ was deemed accidental. The body was apparently found on the pavement below the four-story palatial manse, with no open windows above it, and it was unclear whether it was suicide or he died trying to escape. However, the Russian government declared absolutely that it was purely accidental, and had nothing whatsoever to do with the deceased’s implication in a spate of murders allegedly committed on their behalf by embassy officials.

– Something something sportsball something something. Racist something something, sportsball something. I don’t know; I wasn’t really paying attention.

– THIS JUST IN: While attention remains focused on Epstein being dead, the average age in the U.S. for entry-level street prostitutes remains at 14 years. Life expectancy in the profession is ten years, with the median age being 18. There are over 1 million sex workers active in the United States, and from between 50% and 90% (depending on how one defines “sex worker”) are in a low-paid situation involving little freedom and either a pimp or a madam. The majority of recruitment is among runaways; one in four is male. The greater-than-half-a-million who are under age 18 have no shortage of customers, and law enforcement efforts have little to no impact on what boils down to a culture of widely accepted mass paid pedophilia by the American people.

But yeah. Epstein. ‘Cause he was rich.

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And that’s all the news that’s worth reporting, plus some sportsball that isn’t. If it pisses you off, that’s because it’s something nobody else is telling you, and that sort of thing is valuable. How valuable is up to you: We offer two options: You can send cash to PayPal in order to help support us, or you can buy us a coffee. We can use the morale boost — and the caffeine, particularly now that post-COVID fatigue has set in.