Hello and welcome to another exciting edition of the Update, where you’ll find a lot of news that never made the front page, for whatever reason — and not much that did make the front page, because we try to only report news here. If it ain’t news, why write about it?
Seriously: Why are they writing about so much that ain’t news?
– In the summer of the Plague Year (yes, it’s still summer), telescopic pictures of comet NEOWISE are being photobombed by Elon Musk’s Starlink satellites; fortunately, it’s now visible to the naked eye. Meanwhile, hurricanes, typhoons, earthquakes, other plagues, locusts, et cetera continue as per usual, including the start of the Atlantic hurricane season. Flood season in much of China has now joined the list of destructive events if you’re still keeping track; it’s pretty awful this year.
– Peace talks in Afghanistan were again delayed by neither side wanting peace. One of two airstrikes by the Afghan military hit a gathering of family and Taliban splinter militants celebrating the return of a released Taliban fighter, targeting Taliban militants who were working to sabotage the prisoner exchange program. A munitions storehouse in a mosque was also struck. Representatives of the American military issued a vague and noncommittal condemnation, presumably on the theory that they’re leaving anyway and don’t really care.
– A rocket assembly line cleverly hidden in a refugee camp north of Mosul was destroyed by a drone strike, causing a detonation large enough to be seen from space. Information on the precision of the attack and of the target indicates it was likely a Russian drone firing at an Iranian-supplied assembly line. Reports on casualties are slow coming out, in part because of the difficulty of separating refugee from militant but also because of the large area of destruction.
– The people of Thailand, apparently unsatisfied with the results of the 2014 military coup, are marching in favor of another one. A massive gathering is assembling for the second week at the Democracy Monument in Bangkok, protesting government tyranny, a corrupt military junta, and a constitution they say was written to oppress. The government has prepared but not deployed a heavily armed response team “to prevent the spread of Coronavirus”.
– The ongoing border spat between Armenia and Azerbaijan has claimed even more lives. Other burgeoning conflicts include Turkey encroaching on Greece (again), China with every single one of its neighbors, the Boko Haram insurgency in Africa, three different wars in Syria, an upcoming Egyptian military intervention in Libya, and the Mexican drug war. That last has more casualties this year than all of the others combined. Meanwhile, a Russian tank column has been videoed rolling down busy city streets in the Crimea for no apparent reason.
– Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler got a snootful of tear gas as he addressed an unlawful assembly of protesters, apparently canvassing for their votes as the police began their regular nightly dispersal raid — this time after nearby vandals set fire to a mass of garbage that had collected in a city park during the protests. Informal polling reveals the mayor’s popularity has increased as a result. Meanwhile, the Inspector General’s office has announced an investigation into accusations of federal policing overreach.
– Russia has successfully deployed, fired, and tested an anti-satellite munition in space. China, on the other hand, has successfully launched a rover mission to Mars, and the U.A.E. has launched the probe mission Hope from their rented platform in Japan.
– In response to the American eviction of a Chinese consulate in Houston for acts of egregious espionage, China has ordered the removal of an American consulate. China is presently broadcasting a live feed of the front of the building along with a countdown.
– It usually goes without saying here on TNFN Updates because the major press covers it thoroughly, but: COVID-19 cases have followed an exponential rising curve in much of the United States, indicating a largely uncontrolled pandemic. Wear a mask and goggles, and stay home if you can.
– This Just In At Press Time: Ghislaine Maxwell is still not dead. More updates as we know them.
That’s all the news that’s fit to print today, 24 July 2020. If there’s something we missed, please let us know.
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– Justice Hugo Black, U. S. Supreme Court
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