Welcome, welcome! Welcome one and all to the most recent of our Not Fake News Updates, if you’re keeping track of them as they go by. C’mon in, pull up a chair, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and get ready for some bits of news you might have missed while the 24-hour infotainment networks have been spewing distractions at you again.

Are you sitting comfortably? …Good. Then let’s begin!

Hello again from the News Desk here at The Not Fake News!

The past week has been a busy one, with not one but two huge trials in Georgia plus several sentences handed down over conspiracy in the January 6th cases. Doubtless they will occupy the headlines for several months to come, so there’s really no need to mention them here.

However, as usual, this means that there are probably an awful lot of important events folks may have missed thanks to all the hoopla and associated foofraw. That is where we come in.

Most 24-hour ‘news’ networks are just a continuous series of disaster porn interrupted by occasional bursts of self-righteous propaganda masquerading as fair and balanced editorials.

Hello, good evening, and welcome to another edition of the Not Fake News Update. Are you sitting comfortably? …Good.

It’s been a slow news week since the sub imploded, and media outlets around the world have begun poking random billionaires with long sticks to see if they can provoke them into doing something newsworthy. Alas for them, this has been ineffective thus far; however, there is still some hope of the Zuckerberg/Musk cage fight.

As always, however, things continue to happen around the world that major media has ignored and/or downplayed, though for what reason we at The Not Fake News can’t even hazard a guess. Lest our readers somehow miss something important, here are a few of the most newsworthy items:

The headlines are filled with up-to-date reporting of the missing submersible that carried high-ticket tourists to view the wreck of the Titanic, which is doubtless very exciting and interesting, especially to those involved.

But while the poor (or, rather, rich in money only) passengers remain suspended in a Heisenbergian limbo of uncertainty, other things are happening in the world and it’s worth not losing sight of them.

Read on for details!

They’ve made a deal on the debt ceiling with nearly a week to spare, and citizens across a relieved nation breathe a sigh of heartfelt relief following the close of this artificial crisis. After all, it only happens because politicians of both parties want it to, so they can blame the massive overwhelming national debt on each other.

It’s important to remember that, during this time of hype and propaganda, real events have actually continued to happen, some of which were even slightly important. For some insight into these news items, read on!

Happy V-E Day!

Charles is king, Harry sat in the back, Megan didn’t come, and all sorts of other useless and uninteresting things happened to take up our bandwidth. But, while that was happening, some important things also took place.

Afraid you missed something? The Not Fake News has you covered! Sit back, relax, and let the words flow.

Today marks the birthday of Guy Fawkes, executed for having tried to blow up Parliament. Had he lived, he would be 453 years old.

A lot of other interesting things have happened recently, many while you were distracted by other things, some involving Donald Trump and other truly unimportant issues. Why you pay attention to trivia like that is beyond me. Then again, some people juggle geese; who am I to judge?

So without further ado, I present to you a list, not comprehensive, of a few things you may have missed since our most recent Update:

Beware the Ides of March, and also the Nones and Kalends while you’re at it. Mind you, technically speaking, the Ides of March would have referred to the first full moon of spring, which is due on the 6th of April, but that’s hardly important.

Speaking of unimportant things, your headlines have been full of them as usual. While you’ve been distracted, here are a few items of importance you might have missed:

Hello, good evening, and welcome to another exciting edition of the Update, coming to you every couple of weeks whether anything newsworthy has happened or not!

Looking back, we’re seeing the top headlines include Harry and Meghan, a war in which the battle lines haven’t shifted in months, Donald Trump for no good reason whatsoever, and apparently Disney is remaking the remake of a movie that was based on a ride that went away thirty years ago. Evidently, nothing newsworthy actually has happened.

But we’ll look anyway; maybe we can find something. Stay tuned!