Hello, good evening, and welcome to the latest edition of the Update. If you haven’t been keeping track of world events and developing news (because, let’s face it, life is stressful enough), stay tuned and you can get a quick jolt of reality before going back to the important things, like cookouts and consuming alcohol. Even if you have been keeping track, maybe there’s something you missed, because major media doesn’t actually cover news. It provides infotainment.
Are you being infotained? If so, read on.
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