The editorial staff of The Not Fake News, together with our Brain Trust, has long debated registering our formal endorsement for the Presidency of the United States. With the departure of Bernie Sanders from the race, we have finally determined that there’s absolutely nobody running we think is qualified, competent, mentally stable, and has unimpeachable moral standards.
This is nothing new in American politics. Very few of our presidents have been known for their strength of character; of those, even fewer have been famed for their mental stature. And President Carter has gone down in history as one of our least effective leaders, which only goes to show.
We’ve tried various combinations in order to select even a least-worst candidate. Unfortunately, the incumbent is arguably disqualified on all four counts, and the presumptive challenger is found wanting on two or even three. It is therefore impracticable for The Not Fake News to endorse either.
However, we did glean a bit of comfort from the message Sanders sent to his supporters following the announcement that he has suspended his campaign:
“And, on a practical note, let me also say this: I will stay on the ballot in all remaining states and continue to gather delegates. While Vice President Biden will be the nominee, we should still work to assemble as many delegates as possible at the Democratic convention where we will be able to exert significant influence over the party platform and other functions.”
Alone among the contenders, Senator Sanders exhibits competence, wisdom, and the influence of a strong moral compass. He has, alas, removed himself from contention in the presidential race — but not in the primary. A vote for Sanders will help draw delegates, if not to him personally, then to the platform for which he stands. I would observe that even Biden’s most committed supporters are not known for their enthusiasm; it is arguable, therefore, that even those who desire a Biden presidency would be well-served to vote Sanders in the remaining primary races in order to enrich the undeniably lackluster policy for which their own candidate stands. Remember Bernie’s motto: “Not Me — Us!”
Considering this, it is the clear duty of the editorial staff of The Not Fake News to endorse Senator Sanders in the most powerful and committed terms through the remainder of the primary season and the convention.
It is an unpleasant reality that our selected candidate will probably not end up on the ballot. Having his policies properly represented at the convention is only reasonable; Sanders himself is a divisive figure, however, and it’s probably just as well that he’s not going to be at the top of the ticket. And yet, we can’t bring myself to support Biden any more than we can Trump; after all, Trump may be the very archetype of a comic-book villain, but he’s at least been effective — which is more than can be said for his Furby-fluent opponent.
Having said that, writing in Sanders in November is, in most states, merely an invitation to have the ballot removed. This is quite literally true; write-in candidates must, in the overwhelming majority of jurisdictions, file statements of intent with every county and district. Otherwise, the votes are discarded rather than counted. Every vote for Mickey Mouse, Cthulhu, and A Giant Meteor Strike is tallied not as such but instead as “Didn’t Vote”.
You know those pictures where the majority doesn’t vote? A big slice of those actually did vote in protest — but ineffectively, and I daresay stupidly. How many? We didn’t count.
Long-term, we should work to change this. We should change the entire two-party system, in fact; right now, very few people actually get a choice in selecting our president, to say nothing of our representatives. Democracy this ain’t.
But short-term, the only thing we can do if we want to protest the system is vote for a registered third-party candidate. And there happens to be one running who’s going to be on the ticket in every state. More to the point, he embodies the idea of a protest candidate like no other. He is qualified, competent, hasn’t been accused of sexual assault (unlike the other two), and is at least as mentally stable as anyone else on the ballot.
And if you don’t vote for him, you will be throwing away your vote.
Therefore, post-primary and presuming Sanders is not a candidate, The Not Fake News will be withdrawing our endorsement and instead wholeheartedly recommending our readers vote for Vermin Love Supreme in November of 2020.
NOTE: Due to an obscure rule, the D.N.C. is no longer awarding statewide delegates proportionately to any candidates who have withdrawn from the race. However, district delegates still go to whoever wins each district. Is this another way in which The Party is actively cheating in their own election? Absolutely.
We’ve done our best to follow the primaries closely on your behalf. Our conclusion is, it’s truly unfortunate that our primaries don’t select the best possible leaders. Instead, we must take comfort in the certainty that there will be no absence of need for our services over the next four years, as we continue to sift truth from falsehood.
But this won’t happen without your money. We need a lot more if we’re going to keep going — and by “we”, understand I mean “me plus some volunteers”. I’d like to change that, but I can’t without your help.