Author: Gnerphk

I am The Gnerphk, writer extraordinaire, opinionated, radical, and extremely humble by nature.

When Will We Know For Sure?

Not today, and probably not tomorrow either. Sorry, but that’s the truth.

In a normal year, we’d have most of these things figured out by now, but this is not a normal year. Thanks to COVID-19, a record number of votes came in by mail, and the outdated laws in most states haven’t yet caught up with the new normal. As a result, some states will still be receiving votes through Friday, one or two over the weekend, and so on. It gets complicated, and there’s no reason you should have to know all the details.

But, what the hell — that’s what we’re here for. Right? …Right?

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I Don’t Care Who Won

It’s been a long night of vote-counting, and the numbers are still trickling in. Tentatively, TNFN believes that the Republicans will hold a bare majority in the Senate, the Democrats will keep the House, and Joe Biden will probably be our next president — after a long, painfully drawn out struggle over places like Pennsylvania, North Carolina, and potentially Arizona and Nevada. Some states, it’ll take days to count the mail-in votes, and that’s the way it should be. It means the system is working.

And that’s the news, the morning after Election Day.

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Fear and Loathing: Handicapping 2020

It’s coming down to the wire, and there’s a ton of nervousness out there about who will win the election. Yes, Uncle Joe has a serious lead in the polls, but The Donald has been shown to be making gains among the undecideds — and we must remember that Clinton too led in the polls in 2016.

After all is said and done, it’s not the popular vote that will decide the election, nor should it be. It’s the Electoral College.

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Ding Dong Ditch

The writing’s going well for once, thank God. The writer’s block is gone; the words are flowing. Even better, my wife is staying at her sister’s house tonight; they’ll be having a private Hallowe’en party with her niece tomorrow, and maybe some social-distanced Trick-or-Treating.

Party time in the Age of COVID.

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The Electoral College: A Path Forward

It’s the last week in October, and the rioting and looting is already underway. Election Day is coming up, and we’re told there’s absolutely no way the votes will be counted that night.

This is going to get ugly.

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Why We Don’t Have COVID Relief

The Senate has adjourned for their pre-election break following marathon sessions to confirm a new Supreme Court justice. This makes it highly unlikely that we’ll see more stimulus checks before Election Day.

But for once the blame doesn’t actually belong to the Senate, despite how bad this looks. They don’t have anything to vote on.

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FAKE NEWS: Third Party Voting?

Does Dawn dish soap really give you smooth skin? Will the truth really make you free? Do Camel cigarettes really help you breathe better because of that fiberglass filter? Does Axe body spray cause hot chicks to swarm you? Obviously not.

How about this:
“A vote for a third party candidate is a vote for Donald Trump.”

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F&L 2020: Is The Election “Rigged”?

The entire point of calling this “The Not Fake News” is to address commonly held misconceptions wherever they exist — “commonly held” because there’s no benefit to disproving something nobody believes in anyway, and “misconceptions” because there’s already a huge chorus of media outlets all voicing the same truths, so who needs one more?

In the past, people were obliging enough to present memes that could easily be demonstrated as false. However, now that our social media corporations are taking those down almost as quickly as they go up, it’s difficult to capture one long enough to dissect it, much less to spread the actual truth behind the meme. The danger of this is that rumors are started by that first glimpse, but without permanence there’s no space for discussion or disproof. Even the original poster won’t be sure what it was they started off trying to say.

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The Not Fake News Update: 13 October 2020

On this day in 1307, hundreds of Knights Templar were arrested at dawn by King Phillippe IV of France. They were later tortured, tried, and convicted of heresy. In other news, I don’t much care for Joe Biden’s candidacy, though I like the guy in person, and will probably vote third party.

A great deal has happened since our last Update, but not so much of great pith and moment. Let’s take a look, shall we?

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