big oil

Fear & Loathing 2020: Tactical Voting

The Knives Out sequel was released quicker than I expected.
John Iadarola, on tonight’s Democratic debate

We’re not at the debate tonight.  Nothing we want to know is happening there; we’re here to meet the candidates, not listen to their stump speeches.  (Besides, we were anti-invited. “If you show up, we will not let you in.  This is for real press, not bloggers.”  But that’s neither here nor there.)

So we (more…)

Bribery: A-O.K.

(Editor’s Note:  The entire editorial staff is far too wasted from our staff V-Day party right now to do any actual editing.  I’m the last man standing and I don’t get paid overtime, so to hell with it.  I’m just going to put this out as-is, with the notes from the Legal Department tipped in.  They should know what they’re doing; otherwise we’re paying them too damn much.  -JW)

Happy Valentine’s Day, Big Oil!  You can now pay bribes again!

I want to start off right now by saying that I’m not against bribes at all.  In fact, I’m so pro-bribe I’ll make it easy for you:  Just send me your money and I’ll accept it with a clean conscience.  I don’t care if you’re Big Oil, Big Tobacco, Big Shampoo, or the Illinois Nazis Peace Through World Conquest Foundation —  I’ll take your money, cash your check, and smile the whole time.

Corruption is a time-honored tradition, and it’s as American as apple pie. (more…)