corruption

Sports Desk: You’re ALL Dumbasses, Sport

“Those who fail to learn from the brutal stompings visited on them in the past are doomed to be brutally stomped in the future.”
– Raoul Duke, Christmas Eve 1972

Late last night, while I was engaged in my regular sacrifices and oblations the Great White Porcelain God Whose Name Is Ralph came a pounding on the door at the damnedest moment imaginable. They broke in, and my feeble gestures of resistance notwithstanding, they did their evil deeds and left. Imagine my shock when I recovered myself enough to stagger into the living room only to discover six cases of beer, an IBM Selectric, a recently reconnected Mojo Wire, and enough speed to charge a rhino. The Editorial Enforcement Division had visited again and caught me at a weak moment. I might have said with my pants down, but that would be an abuse of the metaphor. I’m the one being abused and I don’t want to detract from that point, so I’ll avoid the figure of speech and just get right to it.

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Bad Orange Man Indicted

I’d thought avoiding Trump stories would help avoid giving him free press, but that ship has sailed. At this point, I think most of us have become resigned to the upcoming Biden-Trump II presidential contest. If I had any hope remaining for the Republican Party, I’d be strongly advising everyone I can think of to register R so they could vote against him twice. But I don’t. The only strong contenders are either insane, hopelessly mired in Trump’s muck, or have declared war on Mickey Mouse.

It’s been observed that this will be treading on blessedly new legal ground. Former presidents are never indicted, and it’s not because they’ve failed to engage in criminal activity. Most were a bit more discreet about it, mind you, but not all.

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Whose Fault Is The Debt Limit?

At 2 p.m. today, the NBER will release the monthly Treasury update of debt relative to credit. (Here’s a spoiler: It won’t be anything we didn’t see a month ago. We’re up to our ears in debt.) Meanwhile, Congress is rushing back into emergency session for a quick fix to stave off default as our spending continues to increasingly exceed our income. At a time when every politician is casting blame about the rapidly ballooning national debt and the continual political struggle surrounding raising the debt limit, it’s worth our while to examine the larger picture: Whose fault, really, is the precarious condition of our national finances?

It’s tempting for partisans to each blame the other party; it’s easily done, too, as government waste has become proverbial and inefficiency is automatically assumed without the bother of proving it. It’s equally simple for a certain class of people to throw up their hands and blame all politicians, as though they themselves would do better if they were in charge. But even a little brief reflection will show that, while these are satisfying accusations, they can’t possibly have much merit.

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F&L: The Secret Of PersistPAC

Now that the news has broken (props to Lee Fang of The Intercept), it’s finally OK for me to write this.  It’s been killing me for weeks, knowing that I’d never get confirmation.

A week before Super Tuesday, the big news was the formation of two SuperPACs designed to inject life into campaigns that had started to founder:  PersistPAC and (more…)

F&L: Let’s Not Forget Tom Steyer

He’s a late entry and is polling lower than Delaney in Iowa and New Hampshire.  Nevertheless, it’s a mistake to ignore Steyer; he’s going to make a difference in at least two early races unless something big changes, and all else aside he’s likely to split that all-important Billionaire Bloc of voters.  So who is he?  Why do we care that yet another rich old white guy is running? (more…)

Tough. Chicago Tough.

Chicago.

Home of the Cubs, Harry Dresden, deep dish pizza, and hot dogs dragged through the garden.  The city where Al Capone became a folk hero.  A place where you can visit Sue the Dinosaur, Inez at Graceland, and the oldest tobacconist in America; where the river runs backwards, guns are banned, and shootings are everywhere.  Ten percent of the country lives within a hundred miles of here, and the graveyards all vote Democrat.

We joke about it because what’s the choice?  There’s (more…)

Mayor Pete Called It

“But is it helpful to have the 2016 nominee suggesting that a congresswoman is a Russian asset?”
– Jake Tapper

Yes and no.

Yes it’s helpful; it’s a marvelous distraction.  Clinton’s bizarre accusation draws criticism away from some of the more egregious flaws in the present nomination process.  It was also timed perfectly to coincide with the release of a State Department report that criticized the former Secretary of State (more…)

Whitefish: The Unpleasant Truth

You’ve been reading for a couple of weeks about Whitefish Energy, a small Montana company (with all of two full-time employees) that shares a hometown with Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke.

You already know they were awarded a massive contract to repair hurricane damage in Puerto Rico, that the investors are personally acquainted with the Secretary and donated to the Trump campaign, that there’s been massive media outcry against them and a call for Congressional investigation.  You might even be aware that the F.B.I. (more…)

Scoring A Touchdown

(Editor’s Note:  This is another in our ongoing series of guest columns on current events.  Rudyard “Duke” Milhaus of the Sports Desk is well-known for his passionate commitment to objective journalism.  Unfortunately, due to his exhausting schedule of hands-on research into America’s prisons and substance abuse problems, this is the only picture of him we can find.)

Have you ever tried to bargain with someone?  To dicker?  You know, tried to get the best deal on a car, or something else that’s flexible in price?  How you do it is, you start out with an extreme offer, then slowly work your way to a price that’s more in the middle ground, somewhere between what they want to get and what you want to pay. (more…)

Sports Desk: There Is No “Fake News”

Editor’s Note:  This is another in our new series of guest columns on current events.  Once again, here’s the infamous Rudyard “Duke” Milhaus, of the Sports Desk .

Huddle up, gather round, people!

There’s a new playbook being used.  It’s not the prettiest set of plays ever to hit the field, but the Opposition started it and now everyone’s picking up on it, so we’re gonna have to learn it too.  It’s called the “Fake News Play”.
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