spider jerusalem

Choose Your Hill Wisely

Buckle up, buttercup. This one’s going to be a ride.

My friends keep telling me that I should be more upset about Trump. I say: since when does panic help? We’re a month into Armageddon and I feel fine. Canned goods, artillery, and stockpiled toilet paper ease the anxiety some — and there’s a lot to ease, God knows. If it’s this or the fiscal cliff, we’re all screwed anyway.

The Trump Speed Circus is back in town, and it’s a howling beast of a thing: raw, unfiltered, DOGE tearing through Washington like a Cocaine Bear meet-cute. The air’s thick with confusion, a swirling fog of half-baked policies and wild-eyed firings that’s got the so-called Resistance stumbling around like drunks at a funeral. You can smell the panic, taste the disarray. It’s February 25, 2025, and the machine’s spinning so fast it’s throwing sparks — nobody knows where to plant their flag.

Friends, hear me. That’s the whole damn point.

(more…)

Media Bias: An Unbiased Guide

All news media is biased, including me.  And that’s the way it ought to be.  It’s the manner and degree of bias in the modern mass media that’s so very unfortunate.

According to recent polling by Gallup (itself possibly subject to statistical bias), only about a third of Americans trust the news to tell them the truth.  It’s that lack of confidence, (more…)

Blowing Trump’s Horn

No hooker jokes, folks:  Apparently, President Trump has gotten sick of blowing his own horn and instead has hired a professional.

You might remember Kayleigh McEnany from the heady days of the campaign.  She’s the CNN commentator who endorsed Trump waaay back when, and upon whom they regularly called to defend his positions.  She’s now working directly for Trump (more…)

Syria: It’s Time To Worry

The Syrian Civil War has been characterized by the United Nations as the “great humanitarian crisis of our age”.  A nation of twenty million, Syria has lost twenty percent of its population, most of whom have fled as international refugees.  On the other hand, over a hundred thousand foreign militants have gone there to fight, and the armed forces of a dozen nations have deployed in what has become one of the biggest proxy wars in all of history.

And it’s nearly over. (more…)

Reality Check

It’s getting so I hate to turn on the news.  I physically cringe.  Bear with me here.

Here’s a quick recap:  There was a shooting yesterday, a man I think can best be described as a domestic terrorist plinking away at a Congressional charity baseball team at practice.  There was a horrific fire at a London apartment highrise where, apparently, the sprinklers malfunctioned and dozens of people were killed.  (It’s been called “corporate manslaughter”.)  Congress approved a multibillion dollar arms sale to Qatar, a nation presently (more…)

Heroin Is Treason

We send our thoughts and prayers to the victims of the Manchester concert bombing, and rightly so.  Thousands have given direct material help, including a hegira of free cab rides and housing for displaced concert attendees.  Ariana Grande, who we’d mainly thought of as a typical self-absorbed pop star, had a big charity concert to benefit the victims and in consequence is now generally acknowledged to be “probably human“.

Manchester was one of the first of the big bangs preceding this year’s Ramadan attacks.  Thus far (more…)

Sports Desk: Hundreds Of Billions Of Dollars

(Editor’s Note:  The views of the Sports Desk do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Not Fake News or its staff.  Please don’t sue us.)

It pains me greatly to have to explain this, but you leave me no choice:  We are NOT giving Saudi Arabia guns.  We’re SELLING them guns.  For a LOT of money.

Sometimes, you people scare me.  I mean, forget about fake news.  The real problem is, the viewers are so frigging stupid.

No, not you.  See, the difference is, you read.  I can tell (more…)

Manafort, Nunes, Russia: More Non-News

Two old stories made headlines again today, both Trump-Russia.  Neither one is news.

A short time ago, Rep. Devin Nunes (R. Calif.), Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, held a brief press conference in which he stated he was on his way to the White House to inform the President about a recent discovery.  He’s apparently learned of certain conversations that the government recorded (more…)

The Clean Water Act, Part One

I’m going to be honest:  This may never see Part Two.  There is so very much to write about that a lot of very important things will certainly fall by the wayside over the next few weeks and months, and this may be one of them.

But it was a very important happening on Tuesday, and here it is Thursday and there’s been no coverage.  The major media is letting this slide because they have the same problem I do:  Too much happens all at once, and there’s only one front page.

But this is important (more…)

I’m Pretty Sure He’s Human

For me, the trouble with writing about politics these days is that it’s too easy to say bad things.

I don’t mean that it’s easy to insult the President and his people.  That’s always easy.  It’s always been easy, truth be told, which is exactly why the media always does it:  They meet their deadlines and win Pulitzers and can still make Happy Hour, and (more…)