Notes On The Collapse

It’s Not About Me

I keep having to tell myself that:  It’s not about me, I say.  And then fifteen seconds later it becomes about me again.  Pretty silly, isn’t it?

When I go outside wearing a mask, I can’t breathe.  I get light-headed; there’s a tightness in my chest; I get dizzy.  My lungs are going like a bellows in a steel mill and my heart’s like a jackhammer.  It’s called a panic attack, they tell me, though like Paul Vitti I object strongly to that term.  To me, it’s that I’m overheating and can’t get enough air.  That will always be my private interpretation, no matter that my brain tells me otherwise. (more…)

On The Twelfth

We’re having a great debate in this country, and as per usual it’s about the wrong things.

When I say the words “great” and “debate” in this context, I’m being misleading.  It’s more of a drunken argument between ignorance and stupidity somewhat reminiscent of politics and religion over post-Thanksgiving football between (more…)

Fear and Loathing 2020: A Letter To Uncle Joe

I’ve been trying for months, but I’ve been unable to put it into words.  Then, an unusually reasonable exchange on Twitter followed by a timely DNC campaign email crystallized the thought for me.  This is what I sent back to Mr. Biden.  It says what I mean, and how I feel.  I wonder if it might not be close to how you feel.

I know this is (more…)

Welcome To The Monoculture

We’ve achieved corporate feudalism in our lifetimes.  Congratulations.

You must have wanted it.  Otherwise, you wouldn’t have bought it.  Now that your votes don’t matter but money does, we vote with our dollars, and what we buy rules the world.  That’s why our hamburgers are extruded and why they sugar the buns at McDonald’s.

Did you know there was a time when you could get an actually good-tasting burger at McDonald’s?  It had real meat and everything.  Brilliant (more…)

The Story Of Little Donnie Ray Gun

Jim Acosta just Tweeted something:  “WH just played what appeared to be a campaign video defending Trump.  In the briefing room.  Just like a rally”

There’s truth in what Mr. Acosta says; there usually is.  The man’s quite reliable.  It’s also worth noting, however, that — as is his usual wont — Mr. Acosta is also missing a truth that I should think would be entirely obvious. (more…)

Limbo

We’re all waiting.

Some of us are waiting idly at home, distracting ourselves from the gradually collapsing system outside our doors.  Some are teleworking, putting in the same productivity-free hours we normally would but in pajama bottoms.  Some are going out like normal, vaguely afraid they’ll catch a fatal illness but telling themselves whatever they have to in order to get through their day. (more…)

F&L: Our Endorsement

The editorial staff of The Not Fake News, together with our Brain Trust, has long debated registering our formal endorsement for the Presidency of the United States.  With the departure of Bernie Sanders from the race, we have finally determined that there’s absolutely nobody running we think is qualified, competent, mentally stable, and has unimpeachable moral standards.

This is nothing new in American politics.  Very few of our presidents (more…)

Fear and Loathing: Bernie Sanders Drops Out

I’m warning you up front:  This is not news.  It’s a biased opinion piece.  The only news is that Bernie Sanders has ended his presidential campaign.

Read anyway.  It’ll be good for you, and you might even learn something. (more…)

F&L: The Wisconsin Primary

It’s been in the news by now, so you may fancy you already know all about it — and, given the quality of my readership, you may even be right.

However, I’m not writing this entirely for the present day, but rather as a running account of what will doubtless be known as the “COVID Primary” for future readers.  Then too, there may be something in here of which you may as yet be unaware.  In light of these factors, then, I beg your indulgence for the forthcoming account. (more…)

COVID-19: You Seem To Be Misinformed

Yes, you.  You’re reading this, so I’m talking to you.  And you appear to be missing some crucial information essential to interpreting the present situation.

There exist quite a few out there who are conversant with such terms as “flattening the curve”; I’m fairly sure you can explain (more…)